The Dance between Feedback and Growth

It's not what was said but HOW it was said. This I had learnt the hard way. You deliver what you think is clear, helpful advice, but a week later nothing has changed. 

I would be sharing ways to give feedback that lands appropriately and translates to growth:

1. Start with a reflection: Give the team member time to process the feedback. Encourage them to reflect and ask clarifying questions about the specific behaviors and their impact. You could ask, "What are your initial thoughts on the feedback I've shared?" or, "Is there anything I can clarify?"
2. Identify areas for action: Work together to pinpoint the specific areas for improvement. Ask open-ended questions like, "What steps could you take to enhance this skill?" or "What adjustments could we explore for this project?"
3. Co-create a plan: Encourage the team member to develop an action plan with specific steps and deadlines. Support their ownership by asking, "What do you think is the best way to move forward from here?"
4. Offer support: Guide the team member towards available resources - like mentors, colleagues, or training material - and facilitate connections if needed.
5. Follow up: Regularly check-in on progress, offer support, and celebrate successes along the way.

Navigating disagreement

It's natural for people to experience a range of emotions when they get feedback. Remember your goal is to foster growth. Here's how to navigate those situations effectively:

1. Listen with empathy: Acknowledge and validate their feelings without becoming defensive. Use phrases like, "I understand why you might feel that way," or "It's completely valid to feel..."
2. Reiterate your intent: Remind them that the feedback is meant to support them. You could say, "I’m sharing this because I believe in your potential and want to help you succeed."
3. Focus on facts and impact: Use specific, evidence-based examples, and explain the impact of the behavior, following the SBI™ Model.
4. Collaborate on a solution: Make them a partner in finding the solution. Ask, "What solutions have you considered?" or "What ideas do you have for moving forward?"

To turn feedback into a growth opportunity, have a conversation; don’t just give advice. Guide the team member to discover their own solution by asking open-ended questions, and always collaborate on a concrete action plan to align on what comes next.