Lead People and Manage Things

As a manager, your first instinct is usually to fix things. But what if your real power isn’t in giving answers but in asking the kind of questions that help your team uncover solutions on their own?

I know, I know — “project MANAGER,” right? But remember, you are managing the project, not the people. Humans don’t need micromanaging; they need direction, clarity, and a leader who knows how to coach them toward the outcome.

So ease off the “control panel,” step into leadership, and practice guiding instead of dictating.

Let’s dive into three conversations that show how active listening and asking smarter questions can transform your coaching style:

Common approach: Giving advice

• Team member: “I’m having a problem.”
• Manager: “What’s the problem?”
• Team member: “The problem is XYZ.”
• Manager: “Okay, you should try this solution.”
• Team member: “Thanks!”

What do you notice about this exchange? The manager immediately provided the solution. While efficient at the moment, this isn’t coaching—it's just giving advice. The result? The team member doesn't learn to solve problems independently, creating a dependency that slows down their growth and consumes more of your time.

Now let's explore how a simple, open-ended question can begin to shift the dynamic.

Better approach: Coaching with a question

• Team member: “I’m having a problem.”
• Manager: “How are you thinking of handling it?”
• Team member: “Well, I know XYZ information, so I guess I could try ABC approach.”
• Manager: “Interesting idea. What do you think?”
• Team member: “I’ll try it! Thanks.”

What made this coaching, rather than giving advice? By asking an open-ended question, the manager shows trust in the team member’s ability to find a solution, building their confidence and independence over time. But this approach might miss other important information.

Let's see how additional thoughtful questions can guide the team member toward a more strategic solution.

Best approach: Coaching towards independent planning

• Team member: “I’m having a problem.”
• Manager: “How are you thinking of handling it?”
• Team member: “I know XYZ information, so I guess I could try ABC approach.”
• Manager: “What else could be helpful?”
• Team member: “I should talk to Alice from Marketing and Bob from Finance.”
• Manager: “Tell me more about that.”
• Team member: “They both want this fixed. With their support, it'll be easier to convince Carol in upper management.”
• Manager: “So you want to get Alice and Bob to agree with your plan before showing it to Carol?”
• Team member: “Yeah, exactly. I'm thinking I'll write up a quick proposal, check with them, and if we all agree, we'll present it to Carol together.”
• Manager: “You seem confident in this approach.”
• Team member: “Yes, thank you for the help.”

What made this the best approach? The manager shifted from director to engaged coach, guiding the team member to build their own strategic solution.